I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize