the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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