just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize