i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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