I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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