Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize