How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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