i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize