Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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