I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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