I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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