why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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