All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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