everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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