The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize