Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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