He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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