So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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