Can i not drive my cunt home
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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