I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize