i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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