We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize