and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize