I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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