why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
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