Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize