I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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