remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This baby is an asshole
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize