That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize