She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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