My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize