Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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