he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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