were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
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I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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