I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I party with great urgency now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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