Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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