Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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