In the future we'll all be gay
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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