I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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