Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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