They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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