I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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