so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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