i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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