i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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