your room smells of hookers.
And success
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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