meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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