i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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