she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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