Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize