and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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